Most newly married couples, especially the wives, don’t know how to handle their mothers-in-law especially because they can be a real pain. This is mostly because of the troubles caused by these mothers-in-law. In fact, a few ladies tend to wish them dead; though it is not a very good thing because we all have mothers and don’t ever want to let them go even when they are old.
Some mothers-in-law tend to be extremely mean and try to do all they can to frustrate their children’s spouses. As a result, most young couple tend to dread being visited by their mothers in-law.
Some mothers in-law are not exactly wicked but they can be intrusive causing young couples untold heart-ache. Mothers in-law are supposed to be mentors, care givers and supporters but some women don’t simply understand this.
Here are some of the annoying things mothers-in-law do;
They give unsolicited advice
An intrusive mother-in-law will make it her duty to know what is happening in your home. Even when her opinion is uncalled for and unwanted, she will chip in her advice. She makes sure things go the way she thinks they should. If not, there’s going to be a war.
They visit without prior notice
Some mothers-in-law show up at your house without notifying you of intentions to visit. What’s more? You are expected to be happy seeing her; otherwise, you are sin for the “unwelcome in my son’s house” drama.
Mothers-in-law like this, stay for as long as possible making sure to choke you with their presence. You also have to go out of your way to satisfy her or risk being labeled as evil.
They over-stay their welcome
Under certain circumstances, when a woman gives birth in Nigeria, her mother-in-law is expected to come help her with the new baby and put her through the basics of taking care of the baby. This event is called ‘Omugwo’. Some mothers in-law will not leave, they will stay until the child grows teeth and begins to walk. This results in the couple getting frustrated. Their visit also puts a strain on their relationship.
They cause strife in a home
A mean mother-in-law will poke into your affairs. She will grumble about the way you waste resources and the way spend your money then she’ll call your partner’s attention to your flaws. She’ll make sure she reports you at every chance she has. Some will encourage their sons, to hide things from their wives or even recommend that they teach you a lesson by beating you.
They are hard to please
Some mothers-in-law tend to be unnecessarily difficult. They are hard to please. It is either your food is salty or tasteless, or filled with pepper. You decide to buy food from them from a restaurant, they term you to be a bad cook or wasteful.
They want to be everything
Some mothers-in-law feel they are in competition with their you the moment they step into your house. If she sees you having a good time with your spouse, she decides to send you on an errand and by the time you are back, she has taken your spot and you are displaced.
She might also bring up topics you know nothing of and indirectly cut you off from that discussion. Women like that want be the mother, mother-in-law, and wife at the same. Everything has to be about her.
They become jealous of you
This happens especially when she became a widow and had to take care of her son (usually an only son or child) by herself and the son later gets married to another woman. She feels she no longer has her son’s attention, she feels threatened that her place in her son’s life will be replaced by his wife.
A Mother in-law like these can be extremely dangerous because she can go to any length to reclaim her position in her son’s life. The wife here is in danger if her husband doesn’t have a mind of his own and is easily controlled by his mother.
Being over protective of their child
Some mothers-in-law tend to be so over protective of their sons. They will first taste their son’s food before you serve him. They inspect your matrimonial bed and room and question every little you do as a wife. Their punch line for this one is “do you know how I suffered for my son?”
They feel they know it all
Some Nigerian mothers-in-law feel they know more than you. They feel they can even take care of your child more than you. You want to feed your child cereal, they counter it saying you should feed them swallow… “after all, it is what your husband took and that is why he is smart and strong today” they say.
They tend to be very sarcastic and unreasonable
Try explaining a situation to them, and plead with them to reason with you and they’d refuse and counter you with words like “I don’t blame you, I wonder what my son saw in you that made him marry you or “I have told my son that you are good for nothing but he will not listen” or even “You will not be the one to kill my son ooo”
Not all Nigerian mothers-in-law are bad. Some are a blessing to their daughters-in-law. Most young people pray to get married into a good family home and have good mothers-in-law because some mothers in-law can make or mar their children’s marriages.
If you already have a “bad” mother in-law, advice from iDonsabi is this: Be patient. Don’t battle bad with bad because you’ll never make headway. Show unexpected acts of kindness even when its unappreciated.
Finally, understand that your mother in-law is that way because your husband permits it, so put up your charm, communicate with him and pray he realises the harm she’s causing your home.